Telling your own story can be one of the most powerful, liberating, and transformative acts you’ll ever do.
Whether you’re writing a memoir, speaking on a stage, posting on social media, or simply opening up to a friend, your story has the power to connect, inspire, and heal.
But while everyone has a story worth telling, not everyone tells theirs well.
Many people unknowingly sabotage their storytelling by making simple but damaging mistakes.
Here are the top five mistakes people make when trying to tell their own story, and how to avoid them.
The Mistakes And How To Fix
1. Telling the Story Too Soon (Before Healing Has Begun)
The Mistake:
A lot of people feel the urge to share their story while they’re still deep in the pain, hoping it’ll bring relief.
But when the wounds are still fresh, what comes out can feel messy and raw, more like a release than something others can truly connect with or understand.
Why It Matters:
Your audience needs to feel like they’re being guided through something, not trapped inside it with you.
When you haven’t processed your own story yet, it shows in the lack of structure, the rawness of emotion, and the lack of perspective.
The Fix:
Wait until you’ve gained some emotional distance. You don’t need to be fully healed, but some clarity and insight are essential.
Reflect on the journey, what it taught you, how it changed you, and what it might mean to others.
2. Trying to Tell Everything (Instead of Focusing on the Essentials)
The Mistake:
When people begin telling their story, they often feel the need to include everything. Every memory, every conversation, every side character. This results in bloated, meandering storytelling that loses the listener or reader.
Why It Matters:
Your story isn’t a chronological autobiography; it’s a curated narrative. What matters is not how much you say, but what you say and why you say it.
The story should move toward a point, a theme, or a message.
The Fix:
Choose a central theme or turning point. Build your story around that. Ask yourself: What am I trying to communicate? What parts of my life illuminate this best? Be selective. Cut what doesn’t serve the core message.
3. Making Themselves the Hero (Instead of Being Human)
The Mistake:
In an attempt to come across as strong or admirable, some people frame themselves as the hero who did everything right or was always misunderstood. They gloss over flaws, mistakes, or moments of weakness.
Why It Matters:
Perfection doesn’t connect. Vulnerability does. When your story lacks honesty, it loses its power. Audiences respond to real, messy, complicated humans, not flawless protagonists.
The Fix:
Don’t be afraid to show your mess. Your fears, your failures, your missteps, they are often the most relatable and revealing parts of your story.
Let people see who you were, not just who you want to be remembered as.
4. Forgetting the Audience (Making It All About Themselves)
The Mistake:
While it’s your story, it’s easy to forget you’re telling it to someone. When storytelling becomes too self-indulgent or lacks relevance to the audience, it can feel like a monologue instead of a meaningful connection.
Why It Matters:
Effective storytelling is a form of service. It invites others into your experience so they can see themselves in it. If your story doesn’t consider the listener’s journey, it might fall flat.
The Fix:
Always ask: What does this story offer to someone else? It could be inspiration, clarity, a lesson, a warning, or comfort. Craft your story with empathy and intention. Speak to where your audience is, not just where you’ve been.
5. Overthinking or Censoring the Truth (Out of Fear or Shame)
The Mistake:
Fear of judgment, offending others, or being “too much” can lead people to dilute their story, edit the truth, or avoid the raw parts altogether. They end up telling a safe, sanitized version that lacks emotional impact.
Why It Matters:
Watered-down stories don’t stick. What resonates most are the details we almost didn’t want to share, the parts that make us human, that carry emotional risk. When you hide the truth, you weaken the story’s heart.
The Fix:
Be brave. You don’t have to expose everything, but you do need to be honest. The most powerful stories are the ones told with courage. Remember: your vulnerability permits others to be real too.
Final Thoughts: Your Story Matters, But How You Tell It Matters More
Everyone has a story, but not everyone knows how to tell it well. Avoiding these common pitfalls can mean the difference between a forgettable anecdote and a story that moves hearts, shifts perspectives, or even changes lives.
Take your time. Choose your moments. Tell your truth.
Because when your story is told with clarity, purpose, and authenticity, it becomes more than just words; it becomes a gift to the world.